AbstractThe writer analyzes a selection of bereavement studies for a concept of balance. At the same time, she traces the course of her personal experience of grief at the sudden, accidental death of her 13-year-old twin son. Intermingled with the mid-life crisis, other siblings leaving home, and the death of an aged mother, the situation is further complicated by a hysterectomy. The writer shows how the death of one significant person—a son—has affected her own role. Once the incumbent of a key complementary role has been removed, it is difficult to maintain the role identity hierarchy. When a salient role has been changed, the remaining structure must be reorganized. How such restructuring can occur and how the process causes other roles to be questioned, rearranged, and placed in relation to the new roles that have been adopted, is shown.